


countdown

by lesbianmaiaroberts



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Blushing, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Holidays, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8934499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianmaiaroberts/pseuds/lesbianmaiaroberts
Summary: Jace is counting down from thirty seconds now, and she turns to face Izzy. All she can think about is her mouth, her skin, her fingers warm against Clary’s wrist, the light glinting off her hair, the curve of her collarbones.





	

Clary clinks her glass against Izzy’s and smiles, wide and bright. ”I didn’t know Shadowhunters threw parties! Especially holiday ones.”

Izzy leans in conspiratorially toward Clary’s ear and says quietly, grinning, “Notice how there isn’t anyone older than, like, Alec here? I mean, except for Magnus.” Her hair brushes Clary’s cheek, and it smells like Izzy’s ginger and coconut shampoo. It sends a shiver through her, and she takes another sip of her drink to disguise it. “But it’s just for us younger ones. Our parents’ generation doesn’t hold with parties.” Izzy rolls her eyes and sits back in her seat. “Thinks they’re frivolous.”

Clary snorts at this. “Luke and Mom totally know about this party. Luke even gave us a ride here.”

“Yeah, but your parents are totally cool. I love Luke.” Izzy hesitates. “Okay, don’t tell anyone this, but Jace maybe had, like, a tiny small crush on him when we first met you guys.” She giggles at Clary, who’s choking on her drink, and hands her a napkin from- her pocket, maybe? Clary has no idea where that came from, actually. Izzy’s dress is a shimmery indigo, skin tight, and seems to have absolutely no room for pockets. When Clary and Luke picked her up, Clary hadn’t been able to string a coherent sentence together the whole ride over.

“Are you serious?” she sputters, rubbing at the soda on her chin. “I thought Jace was into Simon the whole time! God, when he asked him out he even said he was!”

“Oh, yeah, definitely, but he had a thing for Luke too. You know, he just looked up to him. What, you’ve never had a crush on your teacher or...something….” Izzy trails off, looking past Clary’s shoulder. Her mouth is slightly open, and she reminds Clary suddenly of a deer frozen in headlights, all big eyes and long legs.

“Izzy, are you okay?” she asks, reaching out a hand to rest on her arm. Izzy swallows visibly and blinks quickly. “Yeah, I just. That guy who just walked in? Blond, green shirt?” Clary sees him now, and he looks like the guys in high school who tried to convince her all she needed to “cure herself” was a night alone with them. Same smug expression, same smirk, same ugly stares at the girls nearby. “Yeah. Yeah, I see him. Who is he?”

Izzy grimaces. “My ex, actually. He was kind of….” She looks down and sighs. “....awful. He was really manipulative, tried to convince me I wasn’t really pan. It kind of really fucked me up for a while.”

“I’m sorry,” Clary says quietly, and she means it. She’s had her share of homophobic guys thinking they knew more about her sexuality than she did. Izzy smiles at her, and they share a brief moment. Clary’s heart flutters, and she can feel her cheeks heating up. God, she can’t believe she ever thought she was into guys. She’s never felt this way about any boy before. This is new, different, utterly liberating.

The moment is broken when Izzy huffs out a loud sigh. “Oh, damn, he’s coming over now. Shit, what do I do?”

Clary panics and flails around for a second before risking a glance over her shoulder to see him walking straight toward their table. “Okay, just go along with me on this,” she says, and grabs Izzy’s hand. “It’ll all be all right, I promise.” Izzy nods and grips Clary’s hand tighter, her calluses brushing against Clary’s palm. Their fingers are threaded together, and Clary can’t help but feel an ache in her stomach that it’s not real.

She doesn’t have time to dwell on it, though, because sleazy guy is standing behind her smirking greasily at Izzy. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says, and puts a hand on Clary’s shoulder. “Haven’t seen you in a while. This a friend of yours?”

“Actually,” Clary says sharply, and shrugs his hand off, “I’m her girlfriend.”

“And,” Izzy adds, glaring, “I am not your sweetheart.”

He raises his hands in mock surrender, still smiling. “Whoa, sorry, babe. Just can’t keep my eyes off you in that dress.”

“Excuse me?” Clary says angrily at the same time as Izzy snaps, “Maybe that’s why none of the girls here are interested in you. Like, at all. Or maybe that’s just because you’re a talentless, ugly, homophobic freak.”

He stares at her for a few seconds, seemingly stunned into silence, until Izzy places her hand on his chest and shoves, hard enough for him to get the hint. “Walk away, asshole.” He shuts his mouth with an audible clack, then shakes his head and walks away quickly, muttering under his breath.

Izzy relaxes back into her seat and gulps down the rest of her Sprite, looking newly confident and a little too beautiful for Clary to stand. She sets her glass down and stands up with a determined glint in her eye, still holding Clary’s hand in hers. “Okay,” she says to herself. “Okay! It’s 11:58, which means Jace is going to be starting the countdown soon.” She hesitates, then steps a little closer to Clary. “Do you want to go over with me? He makes a pretty big deal out of it.”

Clary is breathless. “Is it. Um. Is it a tradition for shadowhunters to kiss at midnight like mundanes do?” Izzy’s gaze flickers down to her mouth briefly, too briefly to be caught by anything other than Clary’s newfound reflexes. “Yeah,” she says softly. “Yeah, it is.”

“Okay,” Clary replies, and stands up a little shakily. She’s never been this scared of getting something wrong in her entire life. What she feels for her is too strong and bright to be ruined by one bad kiss at a holiday party. But she thinks maybe the fear she’s experiencing is a good thing, that it might mean Izzy really is worth it. She remembers the boys she kissed in middle school, where there was an utter lack of emotion involved on her part, where she wasn’t scared at all because she didn’t particularly care either way. This fear, she thinks, is a good thing.

Jace is counting down from thirty seconds now, and she turns to face Izzy. All she can think about is her mouth, her skin, her fingers warm against Clary’s wrist, the light glinting off her hair, the curve of her collarbones.

Twenty seconds left and Izzy glances down at their hands, entwined. Her eyelashes brush her cheekbone softly, and Clary is riveted.

Ten seconds and Clary shifts closer, reaching up to brush a strand of hair back from Izzy’s face. Her makeup is dark and shadowy tonight, and it brings out her eyes.

They’re at five seconds now and Clary is more scared than she’s ever been, but she also feels like there’s so much more than she ever thought possible. She wonders if Izzy feels the same.

It’s midnight exactly, and Izzy is leaning into her, and Clary’s fingers are resting lightly on the back of Izzy’s neck, and her lips are warm, and she tastes of ginger ale and something indescribable that reminds her of the color yellow and the feeling she gets when she sees flowers blooming in her backyard.

She thinks this is exactly what she was meant for. She thinks she has finally realized herself. She thinks she might love Izzy.

**Author's Note:**

> this is for Sarah @gayclaryfray, who requested a New Year's countdown kiss and fake dating at a holiday party to fend off an ex! hope you enjoy <3


End file.
